Not being totally in love with your body is almost the norm these days. Even psychotherapists admit this goal of being impressed with every part of your body all the time is a bit unrealistic. But there are various ways you can actively work on developing a healthier relationship with your body — and know that you’re not alone in feeling dissatisfied with the way you see yourself in the mirror.

Why Is Body Dissatisfaction So Common?

Body dissatisfaction can be distressing and social media often perpetuates comparison. But don’t fault yourself for having these feelings as you scroll your Instagram feed. Psychotherapist Kim Hertz, L.C.S.W.-R at NY Therapy Practice explains that comparing yourself to others is a way for your brain to identify and analyze your place in the world.

“It is a way to try and understand where we stand socially in relation to others,” she says. However, where this seemingly harmless analysis turns sour is when you begin to assume that influencers and celebrities are doing better than you because of the way they portray their identity online. “Comparing ourselves to these unrealistic beauty norms and standards may lead to the conclusion that we aren’t measuring up, which can result in feelings of inferiority and insecurity.”

There are several things to keep in mind as you sift through your favorite social media accounts. As Skop notes, the goal of many brands' and influencers’ posts on social media is to grab your attention and provoke you to optimize yourself by buying a certain product or following the same routines they do. “This creates a system where we start to think ‘if only I ate or moved like that person then I would look like them and finally be happy,’” she says. However, this doesn’t take one key reality into account: Everyone’s body is different thanks to genetics and, in part, certain lifestyle factors. And that’s both entirely normal and OK. 

“When we only see representation of one type of body that creates the idea that this is how bodies should look and that every other body is wrong,” Skop says. “While there are many people out there trying to fight this idea, the mainstream idea is still that bodies should either be very thin or very muscular and that anything else is a failure.” 

It’s so easy to succumb to the narratives and images you’re constantly fed online and even plastered onto billboards. However, there are actionable ways you can start manifesting body acceptance now.

What Is Body Acceptance?

“Body acceptance recognizes and embraces bodies of all shapes, sizes, and types,” says Hertz. “It pushes against the dominant and unrealistic cultural standard for bodies and beauty.” Body acceptance and body neutrality are often used interchangeably as they share a few similar goals. Skop says both terms dismiss the notion of body positivity, which is often based on the idea that you need to love your body all the time. Not only is this largely unattainable, but it’s also not supportive of cultivating a realistic relationship with your body. The goal both terms encourage is to take the spotlight off the body and eliminate the obsession of needing it to look a certain way.

“I always talk to my clients about their bodies becoming the least important thing about them,” says Skop. “Body acceptance and body neutrality both come from a place of recognizing your body as it is and allowing it to be that way.”

Stephanie Roth-Goldberg, L.C.S.W., an eating disorder psychotherapist at Intuitive Psychotherapy adds that body acceptance and body neutrality both intend to help you treat your vessel with respect.  “Both body acceptance and neutrality remind us that our worth is not tied to our body,” she says.  All three experts share empowering tips on how you can start cultivating a more accepting relationship with your body.